aaaarrrggh

expletive: self-explanatory and beyond the existential scope of communication. (Olympic spelling)

absinthee landlord

noun: one relinquishing the rule of their own head to another.

ack²nowledgement

noun: (in academic papers and the like) notation of influence on one's knowledge formation/creation. Given the root of "knowledge" as gnosis, where knowledge is subjective to the point of sylopsistic esoterica, "knowledge" is unverifiable and ack²nowledgement is offered as a courtesy for "something" having happened during learning--although not quantifiable; nor qualifiable-- mutually agreed by silent deferral to mean "knowledge." "Knowledge" is signified as much by what is "known" inasmuch (more or less) by what is "not known." So then in a Socratic sense, wherein the b(u)y-product of learning is "knowledge," the condition of "knowing" is necessarily a condition of ignorace--knowing that nothing is known.

adsmith

noun: proselytizer through commercial invisible hands exploiting neophyte desires for shiny carrots; converting without the convert's awareness of a conversion experience.

advergeny

noun: an heir to misfortune. (related: dearth provater & proverbgeny )

aesophist

noun: one who argues using infallible fables from a place of comfort, disbelieving wisdom exists. e.g., You can't convince me that technology makes us smarter by using the words of some aesophist you read on the internet.

aesthoteric

adjective: describing numbing beauty unrecognized as such by others.

affluenza

noun: viral infection causing symptoms of insatiable pursuit of personal power, pay, and/or privilege.

albino black sheep

noun: a person, place, or thing belonging by not belonging; the importance of an anomaly to a group, where the group or category is unrecognised as normalized aberration.

altruman capote

noun: a belief that everyone is a diminutive, sensitive writer in a straw fedora.

arbitrarian

noun: one engaged in the Hegelian dialectic.

aristhrottle

noun: the conundrum that speed limits are not real, but made real as we limit speed; limited speed is not speed but speed-made-real by limitaiton, where real speed is limitless.

arminiust gross

verb: dynamic exponential appreciation of faith through doing; endowment as facilitate destiny. (antonym: calvinist klein)

arrignance

noun: the belief that opinions of Other's have no merit in informing one's own perspective and (beyond relegation or mitigation) is thereby actively fled; recoil from the Other. (related: stupility)

auger augur

verb; noun: prophesying the difficulty of building a deck based on soil quality; one acting as a prophet in this context. e.g., As self-appointed auger augur, Yuri auger augured a 2246 expletive day as his shovel broke sod.

aurora coriolis

noun: while combating dizziness with ‘circular’ gravity, the electric light that moves in an orderly, yet seemingly random, fashion through the ocular nerve after one has been laid out by a falling cinder block.

autocoprophagia

noun: extreme experiment in self-sustainability. autocoprophagust noun: foreboding gastrointestinal warning knell of impending failure of the above experiment.

auto Pilate

verb: making decisions based on reluctance to make decisions thereby making decisions by defaulting not to make decisions; deferring decision making to policy.

aviatar

noun: the manifestation of the desire to pilot the world into a hillside.

ayn bertrand

noun: formulaic measured explanation of existence: money=logic=math; money is directly proportional to logic; logic is directly proportional to math; math is directly proportional to money; therefore, only a libertarian free-market enterprise capitalism is reasonable and without doubt in ascribing meaning and accommodating growth as it alone satisfies simultaneously the conditions necessary for money, math, and logic in the above principle—wealth testifying to individual meaning.

bar cord

noun: any thread that causes common resonance or agreement with an idea during inebriated states regardless of how absurd that idea might actually be in sobriety.

beerhemia

noun: idealised state of bliss achieved through the perfect balance of malt, hops, yeast, water and physiology.

beerlemia

noun: the eviction from beerhemia due to self-indulgence.

beering aid ^{2 & 3}

noun: the alcohol accelerated " wife filter ". e.g., Don't bother asking what kind of job he did mowing the lawn...he's holding his beering aid.

blame storming

verb: accusing a or group of third parties for inherent deficiencies, foibles, etc. en masse.

blasé wager

noun: the clever bet based on probability that tomorrow will be as mundane and ridiculous as today. (see also pascalate)

bob's cajun

noun: the tendency of businesses in rural northern communities to amalgamate services regardless of juxtaposition. e.g., On the way home to Cerebral Cortex from Inner Ear, Beauregard stopped at a bob's cajun for bait & tackle & beer, a home pregnancy test, laundry and some fine French cuisine take-out after making arrangements for septic and Internet services.

bøgaard

verb: to keep one's philosophies and opinions to oneself.

bøhr

verb: to tranquilise and excite, simultaneously; also noun: one who tranquilises and excites, simultaneously. bøhrd noun: tranquilised and excited, simultaneously.

boohoolean Logic

noun: the reduction to tears over the frustration that any thing is not this, nor that and/or the other.

bowldrillard

noun: ¹the belief that sports viewed on television is deemed a greater spectacle than sports events in real life; ²a real life in which being a spectator trumps being a participant; ³sports itself as a substitution for real life, mimicking real life yet without a template of real life; ⁴the equation, "sports equals real life."

bozonics (also: bozonix)

noun: the science of bastardizing logic to such an extent that to recoup and thread all non sequiturs, misnomers and assorted fallacies into even rudimentary coherency is impossible. e.g., Confronted as to why the litter box sat unattended for three weeks, Xiang cloaked himself in bozonics and stayed the argument only after falling into a foetal position and whimpering.

braille stroll

verb: groping the wall in the dark in search of a light switch.

brattan woods committee

noun: elitist organisation responsible for building a straw house of/for/by/through the human condition by means of economics.

caltesian coordinates

verb: matching shoes to belt to purse/tie.

calvinist klein

verb: static exponential reduction of faith through not-doing: entitlement as manifest destiny. (antonym, arminiust gross)

cebolah

verb: haemorrhaging mysticism.

cerebroturf

noun: intellectual property. cerebroturfer intellectual property landscaper and/or groundskeeper.

chakratease

noun: ¹the mixing of primary colours in order to develop secondary colours, tertiary colours, etc. until all colour is homogenous; ²parade route of thesis-antithesis-synthesis-fesis; getting farther removed from the truth despite appearance of veracity based on uncritical workable consensus.

christian dior scientist

noun: one who believes that sharing clothes is immoral. e.g., It's okay for my wife to borrow my leather jacket but if I ask to borrow her black patent stiletto pumps she becomes a christian dior scientist.

clown fare

noun: fast food requiring only gravity to make its way through the digestive tract.

coelacanthem

noun: worship; choral hymn of ichthys thought by some to be extinct.

coital calculus

noun: the consideration of dinner and movie as viable factors in calculations of endurance and longevity. (synonym: algebraic stamina)

collective fuktivism ^{4 & 8}

noun: when a conversation, comprised almost entirely of tangents, escalates to the ridiculous while maintaining understanding between the conversationalists. (does not apply to professional conversationalists)

commasutra

verb: throwing about punctuation with wreckless abandon in complete disregard for grammatical principles or precepts.

compte

verb: to give a free and unsolicited gift of nothing that signifies everything. e.g., Oblivious to the queue, I was compte two tickets to altruism; I scalped one and had the other stolen, leaving me incomptenet.

congestive preservative

noun: major Canadian political party. (see also, lieberal)

consensureship

noun: group muting through threat of a/ber[r]ation.

conversational parallax ^{5 & 8}

noun: the shift in understanding that appears to take place between the individuals engaged in conversation as they move too quickly from one idea to another; the derailment of communication.

coralary

noun: proposition to create artificial reefs by augmenting natural reefs.

copyplight

noun: carved out and parceled ownership of altruistic artefacts and ubiquitous ceremonies. i.e., Rupert Murdoch and the NIV and Bikram Choudhury and yoga asana. copyshyte noun: ownership of the worthless and unwanted. i.e., e papyrus illiteratï^®.

covet reflux

verb: envying the unenviable.

cryogenadassist

noun: a rebound goal scored with an orange street hockey ball, the game taking place in below-freezing termperatures, by slapshot which first hits the goalie's testicles.

curriculum

onomatopoeia: the sound of a ping pong game. curriculum vitae noun: a career in flux. e.g., Gottfried scattered his curriculum vitae until the helium escaped from his broken balls.

cyanide breathmint

noun: a crisis whose resolution is more extreme than the symptom. e.g., The cyanide breathmint to my unruly hair is decapitation.

cyd fischious (also: ghoetiac)

noun: the astronotus ocellatus one keeps while an undergrad at University, given by housemates as a symbol of the excessively absurd :::intersubjectivity:::

dearth provater

noun: the patriarch of advergeny.

déjà moo¹³

noun: the realisation that one has heard a given level of bull**** before.

derridah

noun: the pointing to, and verbal ejaculation to indicate "there it is", referring to the minute "a-ha" epiphanic moment of cognition. e.g. Where is heisenberg? Derridah!

desertation

noun: the onset of ennui regarding a research topic and the ensuing malaise and cognitive doldrums; the erosion of perseverance regarding academic writing.

dialectic immaterialism

noun: the ability to insulate oneself against any external reason.

dickends

verb: to flavour speech with excessive descriptives at the expense of the clarity of a statment or line of reasoning. e.g., It was a fantastic joke until Barchokba dickendsed the set-up so that the punchline came as a relief and a segue to talk about the weather.

disemvowel

noun & verb: contractions; to contract. e.g., In using "can’t" versus "cannot" Billy was able to demonstrate the economy of the imperial language.

disinterpol

verb: rummaging through closets for skeletons in an effort to flesh out character for purposes of public parade and character re-assassination.

disrobespierre

verb: public pantsing. e.g., Disrobespierred, the Cults of Reason and The Supreme Being were made apparent despite the underpants tourniquet that threatened to guillotine the other member.

dopplergänger effect

noun: change in one's critical frequency and cognitive wavelength—that is, perception, as a condition being—as one becomes "Other" to whom one is at the outset.

eau d' dieu dah dais cartes

noun: the primordial scream-of-unconsciousness-level-seeking vehicle that would esteem reason as empirical and sufficient in understanding—particularly theos. ode* ta dewey duh daze (also: owed) ¹default to common sense when sense in the sense of sense-making in an understanding sense is the least common of the senses; ²theoretically untheoretical default to ascribing virtue to whatever works, the most pragmatic being deemed the greatest veracity; ³tyrannical, consensual determination of trueness despite degree of critical thought of constituents.

enliteënment

noun: realisation that the meaning of life is in material pursuits and consumption.

ennuija

noun: agreement by default; assimilation of a task, motion or idea out of ambivalence. e.g., Ennuija made a paper route at the unfulfilled age of thirty-five look like a career move.

enthralpy

noun: infatuation, as with a precept; maximised entropy/enthalpy.

epïcentre

noun: perineum.

epïcon

noun: a symbol denoting absurdism in text-only communition. i.e., %{. e.g., Teiresias thought that rubïcon mentioned on the braille website was referring to a downloadable scratch-n-sniff graphic until he read saw the epïcon.

epïcure

verb: the catharsis in visiting this web page. e.g., I could begin to feel my spirit being elevated while thinking of flowers, butterflies, snowflakes and butterscotch until I quickly logged on and was epicured by sarcasm at e papyrus illiteratï^®, whew.

epïdermis

noun: a skin impervious to sarcasm entirely composed of sarcasm.

epïdural

noun: severe rebuke or reprimand; reaming. e.g., After staying out until three o'clock in the morning without calling, Neville received an epidural from his wife.

epïnephrine

noun: hormone causing "fight or flight" response when looking in a mirror.

epïphony (also: epïfony, epïfoney; epïphoney)

noun: self-realisation of bozonics—literary and oral. e.g., Upon his epiphony, the CEO concluded quickly and retired without fielding questions from the audience.

eulogenics (also: euleugenics)

noun, plural: praises heaped upon a society's/civilisation's advances as it decays.

fawkquely

adverb: anomalous.

feignt

verb: to simulate thought-provoking intelligent attacks at the English language. e.g., This guy's glossary is nothing more than a collection of feignting spells.

fesis

noun: the resultant tripe handed in to a professor when under duress and time constraints; anything produced with pragmatism, utilitarianism and efficiency as pre-eminent to the disregard of thoughtfulness and reflection. hypofesis noun: as general principle, any such product tentatively submitted. antifesis noun: the gap between expectation of a professor regarding written assignments to be submitted for the purpose of grading and the expectation of a student regarding the grade, correlated to the belief in the primacy of the paper. synfesis noun: an academic piece without trace of redemptive merit; a paper devoid of content, format and process, usually generated the night, if not hours, before a deadline. antefesis noun: ¹articulate and well-formed ideas and arguments existing prior to the necessity of rendering the same in term paper form, ²any idea dissipated by a syllabus. (related:) fester verb: to ruminate.

fouckyault

expletive: usually used as frustrated derision against powers of oppression. e.g.,"Last call was an hour ago?! Well then, fouckyault!

freelance archaeology ^{4 & 8}

verb: to sleepwalk.

fuq

noun: acronym for frequently unasked questions; where the only stupid question is one unasked, a fuq precludes a-ha moments of eureka and in so doing, renders unbroken strings of a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha moments for the [a/be]-musement of the Zeit[g/h]eist.

gadam er

expeletive: followed by primitive place-holding sound as truth and/or method vacate thinking.

gehennaed

noun: hair colouring treatment that renders the coiff "looking like hell."

gestallt

noun: the effect on high-performance collective mind when being forced to run on low octane ideas. (see also consensureship) (related:) g'knock noun: the thud of a cranium hitting the desk as a result of the above condition.

giggle quotient ¹

noun: alcohol content. e.g., ...{incoherent}...{incoherent}...father-in-law's...{incoherent}... wine...{incoherent}...{incoherent}...{incoherent}...giggle quotient... {incoherent}...tongue feeling...{incoherent}...

gilderberg

noun: iron pyrite polyp.

glossolalia

noun: the gift of words as tools for communication and the expression of the imagination—not to be confused with Glossolalia.

godotcom

verb: ¹waiting for/looking for a worthwhile website; ²waiting for users to browse a substandard site.

godspeed

noun: the limit of 100 kph on 400 series highways justified as ordained by an arbitrarily invoked deity.

guevarathane

noun: glossed-over true character; verb: glossing over true character.

halcyotosis

noun: the stench in an otherwise idyllic paradise. e.g., "The Hammer" has beautiful geography but is plagued with an unrelenting halcyotosis that is as tolerable as a wet, wool sweater.

havermas

verb: the contextual disintegration of rational discourse despite the urgency of the rhetoric inspired by alcohol, usually regarding the plight of mankind. e.g., After ten pints, Jürgen's havermasing about emancipation was ignored until he relieved himself on the table.

hegdes

noun: existential hell of devolution facilitated by a perceived acceleration of knowledge and the inability of ethics to keep up, reinforced by repeated compromise and replication of "the old" (i.e., status quo thinking) under the guise of "the new" (i.e., innovative thought); default to rule of "common sense" to determine prevailing outcome between diametrically opposed scenarios. (see chakratease)

heildegger

noun: inexplicable political affiliation. 

heisenberg manoeuvre

verb: despite momentum and positioning, the deferment of the 'certainty' of coitus. e.g., It was my birthday and our anniversary; I did all the housecleaning and ironing the night before, made her dinner, brought her flowers, a dozen varieties of milk chocolate and sat through "Beaches" and she heisenberg manoeuvres me in the shower, turning the water to frigid as she stepped out.

hermetic circle

noun: closed-loop reasoning. e.g., I know that I know that I know that I know and do not want to know what I do not know, and that I know. 

hobbles

noun: viewing life as mechanistic output of fatalistic determinism. hobblite noun: member of polity that would implement laws to confine based on fatalistic determinism. hobblian adjective: without the ability to imagine possibility outside the grey matter one's own head.

horkadorn

noun: the accoutrements of a civilisation's progress, primarily economic as a result of technological advance, camouflaging and obscuring humanitarian regress.

hubbard's cupboard

verb: rendering reality as fantasy by fictionalising reality through an imagined syncretic smorgasbord.

human capitalizer

noun: "knowledge economy" bankruptcy and insolvency trustee.

hunanism

noun: the exploitation of developing countries through technology diffusion and education in order to inculcate and proselytise through an economic agenda disguised as diplomacy.

ïdêæl Ðrrèãm jhøb

noun: the position of employment whose responsibility it is to determine product names for a Swedish furniture manufacturer.

illiteratïon

noun: word games generating little turds of non-communicative (mis)understanding that cannot be read or written.

illogical positivism

noun: the belief* that anything is known.

(*see: irrationalism)

immken't (immkennot)

(pronounced "im-kawnt";"im-kawn-nawt") noun: the paradoxical necessity of emptying in order to facilitate fulfillment.

inauspicuousness

noun: inconspicuous consumption while extolling conspicuous conservation. (related: substantiable development.

incontinental divide

verb: attempting to establish a value for the equation zero divided by zero where the quotient is simultaneously infinitely large and small; also, noun: ¹the division bar separating the numerator from the denominator in the above equation, ²perineum.

indemnity theft

noun: crises fabricated by financial institutions and governments in an effort to catalogue humanity, thereby reducing humanity to a function of worth in terms of consumption rather than any inherent value by virtue of humanity itself.

indigestalt

noun: the inability to perceive elements in broad contexts and the physical discomfort due to the same. e.g., only seeing indigo in a spectrum and related "I" strain.

interiority designer

noun: daydreamer.

intuition fee ³

noun: menstruation.

irrationalism

noun: ¹where knowledge is justified true belief, then "unjustified true belief," "justified untrue belief," "justified true unbelief." Also, "unjustified true unbelief," "justified untrue unbelief," "unjustified untrue belief;" ²as "knowledge" (root: gnosis) is both a condition of knowing/not knowing, refers to all knowledge claims requiring disqualification, as the degree of knowing is contingent on not knowing. irationalism the ontological visceral response to the above epistemological posit when teleological implications considered—that although the above is known to be true, it cannot be accepted as true; any attempts to accept as true forfeits accuracy under the above conditions thereby rendering knowing as meaningless as whatever is deemed to be known as true is not true and what is true is rendered unknown; knowing to be not true must then be accepted as true to the extent that not knowing is true. Not knowing is then truer than knowing as knowing may not be true under conditions of self-deception that would attempt to assert that the above is true and that it is known.

isa berliner

noun: ¹jelly doughnut; ²personal positive and negative liberty negate individual freedom creating a vacuum filled by the state. isa berliner west noun: personal liberty is a "push" toward the state's liberty where personal freedom requires oppression to facilitate itself. isa berliner east noun: the state's liberty is a "push" toward personal liberty where collective freedom requires repression to facilitate the state.

java script

noun: peculiar jargon referring to coffee purchases in which the adjective acts as an imperative and mitigates the need for either subject or predicate (also beyond pluralisation requirements). e.g., 2 black, 3 regular 2 double double, one cream, 2 sugar; one double single.java scrip noun: Timmy's gift card.

joggernaut

noun: one who enjoys too many endorphins at the expense of plenty of rest.

junggling

verb: keeping all one's balls in the air at the same point in time.

kallistiscape

verb: trying to extract oneself from the winless position of settling an argument or debate between 2 or more women. kallistagoat noun: the hapless arbitur in the above scenario. kallistagoad noun: the seemingly benign question that precipitates a hopeless discourse in which the one asked to resolve dispute inevitably becomes the primary source of contention. kallistrophic adj.: of or relating to referreeing battles foreseen to be phyrric from the outset.

kaputo

verb: breaking apart meaning(s) in order to arrive at understanding(s), knowing that the understanding(s) have no meaning(s) and therein, have meaning(s) in having no meaning(s), which is then, understanding.

karma suture

noun: the scar left on humanity after having its soul removed.

karynthyan leather

noun: six degrees of exacerbation.

kennt

(pronounced "kawnt") noun: the inability to regard material things as they really are, whether person, place, or thing.

kenora fedora

noun: any one of a number of wool-lined leather/suede caps having ear flaps that can be secured either below the chin or atop the head.

kerlinger's hamper ^{Mrs. wordsmith@illiterati.ca}

noun: what wordsmith@illiterati.ca believes to be any room with a perfectly good floor on which dirty laundry might find a new place to lay freely and unencumbered until such time as magnitude mandates sorting into appropriate colour groupings for washing. (apologetic: to one with dirty underpants, the world looks like a hamper)

king küng

noun: philosophical stance that the chimpanzee collective of humanity are egalitarian in equitable ethical equity; onomatopoeia: the sound of stifling a beverage from spewing from a nose upon hearing the above premise in conversation.

kissofdeathinger

noun: game of realpolitik played with policy as pre-eminent over human concerns; any game played with disregard for players maintaining the rules themselves as the conditions of outcome, and the intended outcomes themselves as the conditions of playing.

kitschen

verb: to destroy natural beauty with man-made improvements. e.g., Saufia plans to kitschen her kitchen by using aqua-mist oil paints on 100-year old 9-inch gumwood baseboards.

klephtomania

noun: regardless refusal to submit to authority.

kübler-guinness

noun: the five stages of intoxication: babble, song, spin, vomit, nap.

kvetch-22

noun: the pointlessness of complaining (not to be confused with pointless complaining). kvetch-22 _kvetsch-22 noun: self-reflectivity that complaining is pointless (not to be confused with pointless complaining). kvetch-22 _kvetch-22^kvetch-22 noun: self-reflexivity that it is pointless to complain, complaining is pointless, the point that complaining is pointless is the point of complaining; not that there is no use in complaining, rather that the use of complaining is in complaining and not a point, paradoxical to above (not to be confused with pointless complaining).

laissez-fraise

verb: ¹to allow editing; ²to leave strawberries.

lakatos intolerance

noun: : accounting rebuttal, denial of falsifiability through red herrings and, hey, what's that over there? (see Enron)

leavened land of lesser vessels

noun: any public house hawking mass-brewed, multinational labels in bottles that elicit allegiance based on brand name rather than merit. (antonymn: unleavened land of eleven levers)

logical negativism

noun: the belief* that anything known is not known.

(*see: irrationalism)

logojam

noun: writer's block.

lieberal

noun: major Canadian political party. (see also: congestive preservative)

lowMas-cara

noun: the inversion of the hierarchy of needs that places physical appearance on par with self-actualisation.

Mac aboral

adjective: the grim distance of fast food from the mouth. Mac abort verb: the digestive distancing of fast food.

machiasmelly

noun: the banality that it is better to fart in an elevator than be in an elevator in which someone else farts.

maltus

noun: the observation that humanity's inebriation grows more rapidly than its supply of beer.

mandrelbrot

noun: spendthrift. verb: hoarding bread rather than increasing it exponentially through the bifurcation of dissemination.

manickyaeanism

noun: spendthrift. verb: the duality that men are evil and warlike, and women are good and nurturing. (see Great Britain, Prime Ministers)

marital arts

noun: word-to-word combat.

matté¹²

noun: (used as "masculine" adjective--yes, that's right...a masculine adjective..."finish" is implied) ...derived from the description given non-lustrous paint (i.e., flat )...when a ballerina falls face down (or flat) on the floor... e.g., "Regardéz Janine... she has executed a matte and broken her nose in the process".  Although laden with artistic merit, the matté is rarely deliberately employed professionally.

medusa oblongata

noun: the ability of one's spouse to render the other catatonic with a quick "look", usually immediately following something that was said by the object of this look.

melville ^{4 & 8}

verb: in conversation, to make an obscure reference causing the hearer to lose the meaning of conversation. (is used only when there is a possibility that the hearer will appreciate the reference) e.g., I'm sorry, but you've melvilled me with the Faucault analogy.

mensamilla

noun: the juxtaposition of evident intelligence against situations in which such displays are superfluous, particularly sports scenarios. e.g., Xerxes couldn't resist the urge to wield his English degree at the hockey game and received quizzical glances as he chanted, "Harrass them, harrass them...oblige them to relinquish the puck!"

merlot-ponty

noun: pre-eminence of subjectivity; the inability to discern without full engagement in that which is to be discerned.

methanatos

noun: death caused by asphyxiation owing to one's own flatulence. extremethanatos noun: mass scale flatulence-caused asphyxiation as participants poison their own environment.

mickey mao tse

noun: the farcical belief that a fantasy theme park can be transformed into a harmonised and benevolent utopia through legislation without changing the "hearts of humanity".

möbius trip

noun: internal uni-lectic; reasoning with oneself in an effort to convince only to travel full circle and return to the starting point.

myöpic

noun: the belief-informing perspective (Weltanschauung) that the purpose of all of one's external environment is to support the "self" as primary character around which the "story of life" plays out around this central figure; the narrative supporting and making possible, character development, plots and subplots, crises--all without resolution unless directly attributable to primary character.

napalm baguettes

noun, plural: stool of diluted consistency and/or dubious origin. e.g., I'd love to go to the ballet dear, but I've been dropping napalm baguettes and repeating like a howitzer all afternoon. (see also: sluicide)

narcomancy

noun: eliciting information from an individual while that individual is in various stages of sleep. e.g., Wolfgang had no idea how his wife found out about his hockey card collection until she used her narcomancy voice while antiquing.

necropolypse

noun: the nearing end and living with the dead.

necrotising fascistitis

noun: the accelerated loss of friends due to wanting to have one's own way; loss of political support for the same reason.

niebuhr

noun: alterity; the Other; usually denoting a person in whom one has the opportunity of meeting manifest divinity in a moment of kairos. niebuhrhood noun: the dwelling potentiality for the mass of humanity to be above; meet the above. e.g., The widow. The orphan. The hungry. The homeless. Yes, these are the people in my niebuhrhood, in my niebuhrhood, in my niebuhrhood. Yes, the marginalised and the dispossessed and the hurting are the people in my niebuhrhood. They're the people that I meet when I'm walking down the street. They're the people that I meet each day.

nietzschjerk

noun: the unthinking response to a harsh reality by being selfish, exploitative, and devoid of compassion. (antonymn: Untermensch)

norsemen of the Acropolis ¹¹

noun, plural: 4 Vikings vacationing in Greece.

obstacle illusion ¹⁰

noun: misperception of deterrence or hindrance.

ockham-n-cheese

noun: the tendency of the ham:cheese ratio to favour the bread.

oepïdus complex

noun: to misconstrue meaning from simple sentences--advanced adherents are able to misconstrue the innocuous intentions of individual words. oepïdus complexion noun: blank look elicited from the speaker after explaining the meaning derived with the oepïdus complex on the part of the hearer.

ontological apologist

noun: one who sees that the clearest way in winning an argument quickly is early acquiescence. e.g., Don't apologise, I want to talk [sic: I want you to listen.]

oversite

noun: act of setting goals too high. e.g., Due to oversite, Gator has had his dreams [up/down]-graded from "improbable" to "implausible" with only one step remaining before reaching "impossible" status.

papyrus illiteratï

noun: (from) ¹aquatic plant from which came simple paper; ² clothing made from the same plant. Hence, "e papyrus illiteratï^®": out of paper of the illiterates, or the naked clothed with electronic words.

pair o' dime shift

noun: the litmus test for ignorance and lack of original thought, a benign phrase conjured and used by senior executives to rally underlings to lemming-like resolution in the face of imminent dismissals.

para-physical graffiti

noun: the writing on the wall of possibilities. e.g. Nebuchadnezzar's para-physical graffiti finds the scales wanting.

parsimoney, law of

noun: the simple directly proportional relationship between financial backing and argument outcomes.

pascalate

noun: the possibility that tomorrow will exceed expectations of tedium and absurdity, further exacerbated by the unraveling of time. (see also: blasé wager)

pastafarianism

noun: the belief that spaghetti is manna incarnate.

'pata-physical graffiti

noun: the possible writing on a possible wall, either of which either pre/post-(or)exist...or not, but does not preclude the possibility that could or could not exist either now or then—and possibly, simultaneously—and possibly in the same spatial instant. (Note: the (im)possibility of a graffitic medium is herein not addressed)

perïneum

noun: a locale from which an exit will worsen conditions before they will improve.

pesstimist

noun: one who attempts to inflict undue optimism upon the corrected bleak worldview of a pessimist.

philosopher's stone

noun: calcium or uric acid deposit that causes the host to pose the question: "How the heck am I going to pass this thing? "

philosophiae naturalis principia economica

noun: the attitude existing as a precondition to any action or motion that begins with the orienting predilection, "what's in it for me?"

phlegmotomise

verb: expectorate cerebral fluid.

phonehenge

noun: the array of comminication tools positioned on a table at any business meeting or luncheon with acquaintances.

praxis of evil

noun: action or process based on exploitation. (The antonym would be an action or process based on love, but as that doesn't exist, there hasn't been a need to invent a term. (Why create monsters?)

premature evacuation

noun: knowing that a diatribe lasts twenty minutes, apologizing prior to the designated pause to accommodate this. This act automatically adds an additional 15 minutes to the lecture.

preyer list

noun: foreign policy of a particular nation.

proActif

noun: (business) mode of inspiration through the use of clichéd catch phrases bereft of meaning. e.g., accountability, proactive, synergy, & kaizen.

proverbgeny

noun: the inane wisdom passed down to advergeny.

pyrrhoïc

noun: ¹ the philosophy that attaining knowledge comes at too great an expense to both knowledge and the seeker for either to benefit with certainty; ² the irony of an arsonist's enjoyment being mitigated due to a self-inflicted burn.

quandary detergent

noun: money; the ability of money to offset an individual's scruples and satiate conscience.

quarantine's day massacre

noun: the state of one's ego spending February 14 alone.

quiggly

verb: the act of being my beagle.

quixidiosyncrasy

noun: inoperable delusion.

qzjxwkf

noun: ¹functional illiterate; ² nonfunctional literate; ³highest scoring 7 (seven)-letter word possible in that tile word game (before tile bonuses).

reason bran

noun: the relationship between the digestion of logic and the magnitude of its gravity.

recticence

noun: constipation. adjective: recticent. e.g., Habaneros peppers and curry could not provoke Billy's recticent intestines to speak their mind.

reductio ad finitum ^{7 & 8}

noun: the reduction of the role of a husband into its simplest expression: "Whatever is said will be wrong and whatever is done will be done in order to compensate for what has been said."

resignation defacto

noun: resolution in the realisation that one will not win a stichomythia battle. e.g., Given that he married a Roman Catholic, Sicilian, Mensa, scorpio, female, high school teacher, True Colours™ gold, Myers-Briggs® ENFJ, he has been resignation defacto since the honeymoon.

rosenkreutzfeld-jakob

noun: mad conspiracy disease in humans.

saddamite

verb: political figure or party that compels capitulation and acquiescence to, and draconian implementation of, national or foreign policy through force and/or economic coercion.

salome head

verb: carrying seven pints at once ("on a tray" is implied); noun, feminine: the waitress performing task; adverb: the relinquishing of thought after consuming seven pints. e.g., Salome head salome headed all night at my table until I wound up salome headed myself.

sartire

noun: pointless irony. i.e., e papyrus illiteratï^®. sartirist noun: one who reads or contributes to e papyrus illiteratï^®. sartiricon noun: ¹an entry on www.illiteratï.ca, ² NOT a Fellini film with Richard Simmons in the role of an extra. sartiriconology writing www.illiteratï.ca to bookmark for repeated return and vocabulary-building.

satan clause

noun: belief that salvation is material. satan claus noun: one who promises such salvation based on materialism.

saufmoric

adjective: describing the mindset of one who drinks with the intent of obliterating mental faculties

saussery

noun: a supra condition that a tomato sauce is a tomato sauce regardless of an utterance declaring tomato sauce to be tomato sauce, regardless of any multiplicity of qualifications that might consensually determine what constitutes a tomato sauce.

(Note to above: does not apply to cream-based sauces.)

scheißenfreude

noun: enjoyment in knowing another suffers with constipation.

schizophriendetic

verb: attempting to be all things to everyone and being nothing to anyone.

schoppinghauer

noun: pessimistic consumerism; the belief that the moment something is purchased, invariably it will go on sale elsewhere.

schrödinger's fart

noun: an example of the incompleteness of quantum physics: problem of being and becoming...from the subatomic to a macrosystem. When does the fart become a fart?

schwarzhaupt

noun: concealed blackhead; transcendent acne appearing on the face as immanent blemish-free.

scripsure

noun/verb: maintained static salvation without corresponding action. e.g., Sure he's a complete degenerate devoid of a moral compass or benevolent agenda, but he's scripsure so he's got a get-out-of-Hell-free card.

Seinstein

noun: Being in a commodified world in which identity is tied to commerce where individual worth is then tied to production/consumption. i.e., Rubicon lamented that he had to apply to the Ministry of Business and Consumer Affairs for a birth certificate for his daughter, which shouldn't have surprised him given that the name of an Württemberg-born Jewish physicist is trademarked.

sedentation

noun: commode reading.

self-explanatory

see self-explanatory

shangri-la-di-da

noun: ¹the idyllic state assumed to be attainable, desirable, and workable by politicians, the military, economists, moral philosophers, clergy, and the makers of crystal methamphetamine manifest in its simplest form in voter turnout statistics; ²the subsequent deferral of personal action to law, might, leverage, authority, power or diversion or any combination thereof without personal, reflective/reflexive critical thought (see also, absinthee landlord & mickey mao tse )

sheeple herder

noun: secular clergy; spiritual naturalist.

shettiquette

noun: ¹courtesy flush; ²fecal social contract; uric social contract—used interchangeably, applies to either and both conditions of voidance.

sillygism

noun: any attempt to draw correlation between three (3) or more items in order to develop understanding of an idea, event, etc., when the understanding of the idea, event, etc., would demand action.

sluicide

noun: the act of consuming egregious amounts (to rectum rights) of high-Scoville unit capsicum-family vegetables in disregard for one's colon and the necessary peristalsis that follows ingestion verb: committing this unpardonable act. (see also: napalm baguettes)

smoker's kafka

noun: ¹dehumanisation in the guise of 'self-help'; ²inadvertent self-deprecation, and/or ³the irony of a person's/place's/thing's façade of being contrasted by the inverted nature of their/its true being; ⁴ addiction to self-help placebos; ⁵k2(at)illiterati.ca.

smoking jacket

noun: plaid, fleece over-shirt described by pin holes burnt down the front (also lumberjack jacket).

solellipsism

verb: ¹omitting self-reference in persuasion; ²the illusion of objectivity in argument despite the dots of rhetorical pause representing the Self: myself, I, and me.

spowse^{3 & 8}

noun: best-friend-by-default as the others are pa[i]red away.

stanislopsky

noun: maudlin thespianism in an ironic attempt to be real.

stupility

noun: the belief that one's opinions have no merit in informing the perspectives of Others and is therefore self-relegated or self-mitigated when opportunity for discourse is presented. (related: arrignance)

substantiable development

noun: tautological justification for inauspicuousness.

synaesthetic incognizance

noun: complete sensory awareness of utter oblviousness. e.g., Approaching the customer service representative after reading the storefront sign prohibiting the distribution of literature, Phil knew he was a viral carrier of synaesthetic incognizance by the way the clerks eyes kept inflating in conjunction with sweaty body tremors in response to his question, "Where can I set up to give away this box of copies of 'Catcher in the Rye?'"

summa ideologica

noun: a television guide to programs and programming.

taxadermis

noun: within the cliché that a sheep can be sheared a hundred times but only skinned once, a condition of the latter. taxabrasion noun: shorn raw.

thai dye

noun: curry.

theoidiocy

noun: blame directed to a deity for the presence of evil when an ontological mirror suffices as explanation.

tmesiscystic

noun: the insertion of a word within a compound word, the resultant word carrying more emphasis and meaning than the original word without the internal parasite. Un-freaking-believable? It is true.

torte law

noun: the inevitable impossibility of room for dessert. e.g., Torte law precluded me from even a sliver of key lime pie after ingesting three entrées.

tour of doody³

noun: the smorgasbord of the daily fecal experience.

transincidental meditation

noun: to fantasise while ruminating on the question: "what if..." e.g., In the middle of transincidental mediation, Jimmy did not see the light change, did not move through the intersection and thereby had to repeat this waiting stage in his life's journey.

treemasons

noun, plural: Giuseppe, Pietro, and Giovanni.

tricollateral commission

noun: ¹sales bonus apportioned 3 ways; ²sales sp(l)iff distributed among three persons; ³requiring 3 references.

triviata, la

noun: an inconsequential biography that does not merit song.

trousseau

noun: the truism that man is born naked but everywhere is in underpants.

tryptophantasmagoria

noun: the dream of post-Thanksgiving dinner nap.

unabonger

noun: the crack in the libertarian bell-bottom curve.

uncategorical expletive

noun: attempting to treat the Other as a means to an end, when stymied by the higher moral principles of the Other that resists simple acquiescence, the resultant rendering of the frustrated imperative, "f*q you!" as imprecation. (see also, fouckyault, & necrotising fascistitis)

underpants tourniquet

noun: knotted knickers.

unleavened land of eleven levers

noun: ¹the public ale house down the street from me offering a remarkable selection of cottage industry draught malt/barley/hops-based beverages, brewed in the tradition of the Reinheitsgebot of 1516; ²any such public house that I refer to with said moniker. (antonymn: leavened land of lesser vessels)

Untermensch

noun: in the face of an uncaring, harsh reality, one that acts as an autonomous, caring, and altruistic sentient being; rejecting the notion of übermensch that would attempt to conquer harshness and cruelty with greater measures of harshness and cruelty, one that adopts a stance of grace and mercy, thereby becoming the über-übermensch—literally, the super-duper human

(Note to above: "stance of grace and mercy" necessarily precludes personal agenda.)

volatile

noun: the Last Supper mosaic, Masterpiece Gardens, Florida.

volldemart

noun: the retailer that shall not be named.

waltzpurgis

verb: dancing with the devil. Waltzpurgis Matilda noun: the burden of having a dance partner as ugly as evil.

werksmerz

noun: dejection at the state of one's career.

wheurism

noun: self-prescribed, indiscriminate lasciviousness for purposes of mate selection.

whimgenstein

verb: articulating the first thought that comes to mind as if proximity to experience denotes accuracy and authenticity. e.g., Questioned about his kidney stone affliction, Ludwig whimgensteined, "SUV through eight feet of garden hose".

whichKraft

noun: the increasing difficulty in determining which corporate entity owns which brand name.

wife filter ⁶

noun: an internal mechanism between the inner ear and brain that disallows synapses referring to either criticism or additional chores. e.g., Officer, I was yelling at him to get out of on-coming traffic but I think he was wearing his wife filter.

wife philtre

noun: spousal love potion; a.k.a."beer".

wunderlust

noun: the proclivity to allow the mind wander--often through dense underbrush and lightless canopies--without any urgency to arrive at a destination or produce a map of the terrain explored. (similar to, but distinct from transincidental meditation).

wurlitzer

noun: the male organ.

xanthippetoe (also xantippetoe)

verb: the overt caution in circumventing daily issues in an effort to allow time for higher principles of reflection. e.g., Anaïs xanthippetoed the issue of her perceived responsibility to complete 3 weeks worth of her husband's dirty laundry as mastering fly fishing was more important to her.

yangk

noun: onanism.

yink

noun: deprivation of coitus, making yangk necessary.

ylangk-ylangk

noun: the annoying visage and general disposition of one who has not been yinked in a long while and therefore has no need of yangk.

zeitheist

noun: procrastination; the sudden realisation of lost time.

ziggurette

noun: priapism. e.g., The television was obscured due to the ziggurette I had constructed overnight.

zohmbie

noun: one deferring autonomy and critical and reflective/reflexive engagement in one's own life to a given mantra.

zorroastrianism

noun: the letter "z" having one pronunciation. i.e., zed.

alphabetical

noun: organising structure based on arbitrary finish of letters in some sort of meta-phyisical race. (cf. cpelyng)